A Candid Conversation with Nealon Hightower
SIX SIMPLE TRUTHS TO FAT RELEASE;
How I Let Go of More than 100 Pounds the Easy Way
Carrie: What inspired you to write Six Simple Truths to Fat Release?
Nealon: Well, Inspired is definitely the right word. After years of fighting with my weight, winning sometimes only to end up losing even bigger, I came to a place of quiet desperation and I finally surrendered to the battle and let my heart guide me to find a permanent solution to my lifelong problem. I vowed to teach the gift to others if I could find the path. I did and I am.
Carrie: What are you reading right now?
Nealon: I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Marianne Williamson’s new book, A Course in Weight Loss. I feel as though she is going to hit on a lot of very relevant information, though I am still a little disappointed that she is still referring to the term “Weight Loss”.
Carrie: What’s wrong with weight loss, didn’t you lose over 100lbs?
Nealon: This is the major differentiation between my book and most others out there. I very strongly feel, no…I know that weight loss is not the most effective approach. You lose your keys, your job, your home, your dog but you
I interviewed Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. longer ago than I’d like to admit. To be honest, I ran into some editing issues with the sound quality and some phone interference, so I put it on the back burner. After revisiting the interview and all the excellent info Dr. Shosh offers, I inquired some moms on their interest in the content. Many moms were interested in hearing about Postpartum Depression and the treatment. Though it’s still not perfect, I re-edited the file and finally posted it. It was a bit of a pain, but I really think the information Dr. Shosh offers is priceless. I realize it won’t be of interest to every Words To Mouth listener, but let’s face it, we’re all either parents at some time in our lives or know someone who is, so if you don’t listen, just be mindful of people around you who may find this interview useful. Be aware the sound levels were a bit off, so you will hear some white noise and possibly a few phone key blurts–Hey, I tried.
Description on Postpartum for Dummies from Dummies Website:
It’s a great blessing when a new mom with postpartum depression (PPD) is fortunate enough to be diagnosed early by a knowledgeable medical practitioner or therapist. But without guidance, it isn’t always clear where the boundary between normal baby blues and PPD lies. As with any other illness, the quicker that PPD is identified and treated, the faster the woman will recover. Postpartum Depression For Dummies can help you begin the process of determining what’s going on with you and give you a better idea of where you fall so that you can get yourself into proper treatment right away. The book covers all aspects of PPD, from its history and its origins to its effects on women and their families to the wide variety of treatments available—including conventional Western medicine, psychological therapy, alternative medical treatments, and self-care measures.
Postpartum Depression For Dummies reveals:
- Why some doctors may be hush-hush about PPD
- How to distinguish between pregnancy hormone changes, “baby blues,” and PPD
- The difficulties of getting a proper diagnosis
- The role and importance of a therapist
- The benefits of medication for depression
- Alternative treatments with a successful track record
- How to find the right balance of psychological, medical, and alternative treatment
- Ways you can help foster recovery
- The nutrition you need to care for yourself properly
- How to help your partner help you
YOU’D BE SO PRETTY IF…Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies–Even When We Don’t Love Our Own, Dara Chadwick
A Conversation with Dara Chadwick,
Author of YOU’D BE SO PRETTY IF…
Carrie: Why did you decide to write YOU’D BE SO PRETTY IF…?
Dara: I learned so much about my body—and about myself—during my year as Shape’s Weight-Loss Diary columnist. But watching the effect that the experience had on my daughter, just at the time when she was beginning to think about her own body, really opened my eyes to the effect that my words and behavior have on her. That led to many conversations between us about why I was doing the column, what I thought about my body and what I hoped to get out of the experience. I wanted her to know that it was all about being healthy for me (my own mom died young) and about becoming the best me I could be. When I talked to some of my friends about their mothers’ influence and their body feelings, I realized this was a universal topic among women and I wanted to really explore it.
Carrie: What will readers take away from YOU’D BE SO PRETTY IF…?
Dara: I want readers to close this book and say, “Wow. I don’t need to be a supermodel or be perfect to help my daughter feel good about her body.” The practical advice and collective wisdom in this book—my story, and the stories of the women and girls I interviewed—will give readers the tools and encouragement they need to change the body image legacy that they pass on to their daughters.
Carrie: There are a lot of body image books out there. How is YOU’D BE SO PRETTY IF…different?
Dara: It’s different because it touches on all facets of a mother’s influence on her daughter’s feelings about her body. The mother/daughter relationship is so complex and the bond is so strong, girls can’t help but absorb everything we say and do and, to some degree, feel—whether it’s good or bad. And while the book will touch on examples of moms who tell their daughters that they’re getting fat or try to rigidly control them, it also tackles more subtle scenarios, such as how moms talk about themselves in front of their girls and how that talk affects their daughters.
Carrie: What do you mean by that?
Dara: For example, if the family decides to go out for ice cream and mom just orders a Diet Coke every time, what does that say to her daughter? Or when the family heads to the beach or pool for a day of swimming and mom refuses to remove her cover-up? My mom was a huge fan of self-deprecating jokes; one of her favorites was, “The first rich blind man through the door is mine.” She also liked to choose clothes that she said, “hid a multitude of sins.” Those words and behaviors aren’t lost on girls. You’re planting a seed with each comment and when her body starts to look like yours, guess what? She remembers, and applies that criticism to herself. The good news, though, is that the stories shared by the women and girls in this book will help readers see that subtle changes can have big effects.
Carrie: As a mom, how can I encourage my daughter to eat healthy without contributing to the development of an eating disorder?
Dara: As Shape’s Weight-Loss Diary columnist, I spent a year working with a dietitian who taught me that healthy eating doesn’t mean deprivation. My daughter watched me lose 26 pounds, but she also saw me eat ice cream and other foods that I love. She saw me eat in restaurants and cook healthy meals at home. Being healthy isn’t about extremes or rigidity, and there’s a place for the foods you love. It’s all about balance.
Carrie: Girls today want to look like their favorite celebrities, many of whom are stick thin. What can moms do to counteract that?
Dara: These are tough waters for moms, and I’ll be the first to admit that. At 13, it’s all about fitting in with your peers and figuring out who you are. These are tough concepts for an adolescent to grasp, but don’t underestimate your own influence. To her, you’re a role model, just like the celebrity she adores. If you take care of yourself and focus on being the best you you can be, you’re teaching your daughter to make the most of who she is—to be the best her she can be. I try to remember that, too, when I’m tempted to brush off a compliment. If my daughter tells me I look pretty, I’ve learned to say, “thanks,” instead of brushing it off. When I accept her compliment without making a self-deprecating comment (this old thing? My hair’s a mess, my arms are too big, etc.), I’m showing her that I can feel good about myself the way I am — and she can, too.
Carrie: What about media images? How can moms contend with the media’s portrayal of women and our daughters’ aspirations to look like those women?
Dara: I know it seems overwhelming sometimes, but you can help your daughter learn to look at media critically. I wish every girl could experience what my daughter experienced watching me go through the Shape program. She’s been to multiple professional photo shoots and she’s seen how much make-up, time, lighting, styling and posing go into creating an image of “perfection.” We also poke around on Web sites like the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty site, which features things like videos that show the transformation of a natural-looking model into a cover model. When you’re talking with adolescent girls about celebrity and media images, it’s so important to help them understand that what they see on the page isn’t real. I’ve got a friend who says she never compares herself to celebrities—they’ve got nannies, housekeepers, stylists, trainers, assistants, etc. It’s just not a fair comparison, she says. I think that’s a great attitude.
Carrie: What’s one thing you learned while writing YOU’D BE SO PRETTY IF…that really surprised you?
You may have already seen this, but it touched me so much, I can’t resist posting it on my website. I contacted Kelly’s publicist in hopes she’d agree to be on Words To Mouth ~ Let’s hope she says “Yes!”
This book appeals to me…well, because I need all the help I can get with surviving my daughters’ teen-age years. AGONY is a perfect word some days and I bet if you asked them (I’ve got two) they’d say that same word is spot-on for dealing with “Mom.”
the AGONY and the AGONY is a practical guide offering sympathy, advice, and a few laughs to get parents through the seemingly impossible adolescent-rearing years. Betty Londergan provides sound strategies to common conflicts between parents and teens: a) How to talk to teenagers about issues, especially what NOT to say; b) Teen privacy—when it’s okay to snoop; and c) The different strategies for parenting “emotional” girls and “rebellious and withdrawn” boys.
To win a copy of the AGONY and the AGONY:
- One Ballot: Subscribe to my e-newsletter (this is how I announce winners) ~ I promise I won’t bombard you with correspondence, trust me 😉
- Two Ballots: Leave a Comment below sharing your biggest teenager challenge or maybe how challenging you were as a teenager (Beg for forgiveness from your parents 😉
- Three Ballots: Call 206–309–7318 and share in your own voice
- FOUR Ballots: Leave a review for Words To Mouth on iTunes
Interview with Betty Londergan
Carrie: What inspired you to write the AGONY and the AGONY?
Betty: My adorable, agonizing teenagers.
Carrie:Tell us about the AGONY and the AGONY.
Betty: My focus is on what a parent goes through in a child’s adolescence – namely a process of bewilderment and loss. So I’ve borrowed the famous five stages of grief to describe the parents’ journey: through Denial (12-13), Anger (14-15), Depression (12-18), Bargaining (16 -17) and Acceptance (18 up, I hope).
Carrie: What is the primary message you’d like your readers to take away from the AGONY and the AGONY?
Betty: That you will live through this, that it’s normal to feel enraged/insane for a good part of your kid’s adolescence, that your kid probably will grow up to be just fine, and will eventually even like you again.
“Violence Knows No Zip Code“ John Linney
Youth-on-youth mistreatment is getting younger, meaner, and harder for adults to identify…
and more acceptable
Bullying ~ A National Epidemic
U.S. Bullying Stats According to Safe School Ambassadors:
- 25,000 secondary school students are targets of attacks or robberies.
- Over 1600 teachers are threatened each day and 300 are assaulted by students
- 160,000 students stay home from school because they are afraid of what someone will say or do to them.
- 22% of 4th through 8th graders report academic problems due to bullying
Every Day in America
160,000 students stay home from school because they are afraid of how they might be treated by their peers. Every day, thousands or millions more come to school with a knot in their guts unable to concentrate, learn, or perform at their best because they are afraid they’ll be insulted, harassed, assaulted or worse. Every day…
Students Hold the Key
Students see, hear, and know things adults don’t… and they can intervene in ways adults can’t. But too often they don’t because they fear retaliation and don’t know what to do.
What if a cadre of courageous, committed and skilled students the social leaders of your school’s diverse cliques, those most likely to speak up were preventing and stopping exclusion, teasing, bullying and other forms of violence on your campus… right now? **from SSA Website
As Oprah’s recent shows on bullying so clearly point out, students hold the key to creating physically and emotionally safe schools. In more than 400 schools in the United States and Canada, over 18,000 Safe School Ambassadors are reducing teasing, insults, gossip, bullying, harassment and fighting using non-violent communication skills. These socially influential student leaders from diverse cliques are promoting tolerance and helping their friends treat people right.
To win a FREE copy of Safe School Ambassadors, subscribe to the Words To Mouth newsletter, then leave a comment either via the blog post below or by calling 206-309-7318 and share your experience ~ Were you ever bullied? Maybe you were the bullier?? Come on, fess up ~ I did! Do you have a child who’s in the midst of the bullying dynamic? Have any tips for others? Share your stories. I’ll be taking one copy of SSA on the Manic Mommies Escape cruise for a “door prize” and giving another away…so, let me hear from you.
Don’t forget to subscribe to the show via iTunes (Sure would love to see a new review on iTunes…it’s been so long, I’m suffering from review withdrawal)
As always, thanks to Natalie Brown for her song You Gotta Believe from the Podsafe Music Network.
Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking; Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Flexibility, Resilience and Happiness – Tamar Chansky, PH.D.
I will be taking a copy of this book along with me on the Manic Mommies Escape Cruise for a door prize. I have another copy that you can win simply by commenting below and/or calling 206-309-7318. Tell me about your child and how you think this book may assist in changing his/her focus or maybe even your own.
TAMAR E. CHANSKY, PH.D., founder and director of the Children’s Center for OCD and Anxiety, is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive -Compulsive Disorder and Freeing Your Child from Anxiety. She lives in Philadelphia with her husband and daughters.
Check out Tamar’s websites:
Carrie: Tamar, what inspired you to write Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking?
Tamar: The first sparks for this book came to me about four years ago, when in the midst of doing my work as a child psychologist for anxious children, I had a couple of weeks when it seemed like every other child in my office was stuck in a spin of negative thinking. These are children who are saddled with a strong negative first reaction to any situation, tend to be hard on themselves and others, are perfectionistic and pessimistic in their view of themselves, the world and the future. I saw the parents of these children trying desperately to cheer their children up and reassure them, to no avail. What these children needed was not to hear that everything was fine (they knew that somewhere deep down), but rather they needed to understand that negative thinking is not the truth, far from it, it is more of a knee jerk reaction in the brain to disappointment or failure. Rather than the brain sending helpful messages like, this didn’t go well, let’s see how to fix it, the negative brain goes to extremes—This is unfixable! You are a failure! Give up, if this didn’t work, nothing will! So these children needed to hear from their parents that these thoughts and experiences are normal, temporary, and completely surmountable.
M.I.L.D.E.W. (Mother-in-Laws Do Everything Wrong), now in its second printing, is a hysterical marriage companion book every woman should have in her back pocket–either to make herself laugh when those inevitable mother-in-law issues arise or to have at-the-ready for a girlfriend who may need a dose of M.I.L.D.E.W. perspective. Co-Authors, Liz Buper and Renee Plastique (okay, their names have been changed to protect their identity 😉 bring humor to an otherwise extremely frustrating dynamic. The acronym, M.I.L.D.E.W., is infiltrating today’s vernacular and every woman can relate–we all have a personal or “friend” story to contribute when the mother-in-law topic is broached. Hear about some of the biggest challenges and funniest MILDEW stories, plus some great strategies to deal with MILDEWS.
Check out and earlier Words To Mouth written interview and click the gray arrow below to hear about the book from the author’s own lips.
In a couple weeks, I will be cruising with the Manic Mommies on their annual Escape–this one to the Bahamas. Since my Diva Sista, Suzanne, has already blogged about it, I’ll refer you to her site ~ She’s a Family Therapist and hosts an Ann Landers-type relationship advice podcast, Dear Zanny. Check it out! And, of course, if you’re a mom, you must listen in with the Manic Mommies ~ They offer wonderful support and laughter for working moms–let’s face it, if you’re a mom, you work, so any/every mom qualifies. As previously mentioned, we will be discussing the book, The Pirate’s Daughter by Margaret Cezair-Thompson and I’ll be bringing questions back from attendees to pose to the author on Words To Mouth mid-November. You may also post your questions below and I’ll be happy to include them.
About the Book (from Laura’s website)
Gwyn Huntington knows how to throw a party. And Hunt Hall, her postcard-perfect Victorian home in Montauk at the easternmost tip of Long Island, is no stranger to celebrations. But on the morning of her thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, she’s putting finishing touches on the last party she’ll host there. The last time she’ll see Hunt Hall abuzz with caterers and bartenders. The last time she’ll preside over a gathering of beautiful friends chatting in candlelight. The last time she’ll fully play the role of Mrs. Thomas Huntington. Divorce parties have become commonplace, if not fashionable, in Montauk. But Gwyn is determined that hers will be different.Just over one hundred miles away on the same morning, Maggie Mackenzie sits on the floor of her Brooklyn apartment attempting to organize her new life. A former travel writer, she’s fallen in love with a wonderful man, gotten engaged, and is planning to start a business with him. Today is also the day she’ll meet her fiancé’s parents for the first time. She’s feeling particularly uneasy about the occasion surrounding her first meeting with Nate’s family. The Divorce Party takes us into the lives of these two women at opposite ends of marriage. For all the differences between them—distance, privilege, age—Gwyn and Maggie have one thing in common: Each has found herself at a crossroads. Gwyn has been preparing for this day, the last predictable day before an uncertain future. Even though she’s had time to come to terms with her divorce, she still can’t quite believe her marriage is over. How can she move on when her marriage has defined who she is for the last thirty-five years? And for Maggie, the emotionally charged trip to Montauk shakes the foundation of her relationship with Nate and dredges up feelings she has spent her life trying to avoid. In the end, Gwyn and Maggie face the same questions: How hard should you work to stay with the person you love? And when is it time to let go?
Carrie: Why did you write The Divorce Party?
Laura: After my first novel, London Is the Best City in America, came out, readers began writing to me, and telling me about their relationships. I heard from so many interesting people: a woman celebrating her 45th wedding anniversary, a man trying to figure out whether he did the right thing breaking off an engagement. The stories ran the gamut. And they inspired to take a look at what makes a relationship last over the course of the lifetime: is there one secret ingredient? Is it many small things? Is it a whole lot of luck? These questions formed the basis of The Divorce Party.
Carrie: Tell us a bit about The Divorce Party?